So i’m going to tell you some of my past problems….?
And you can tell me what’s wrong with me, and why i have severe mood swings all of a sudden, and acting violent towards people i care about.
Okay, first off, i was born in 1992. My mom was 19, and my dad was in his mid 20s. My dad was a drug addict and alcoholic, but my mom wasn’t. I had to grow up hearing them argue and verbally/physically fight all the time, even though they didn’t live together and didn’t go out. One time when i was about 4, my parents were arguing on christmas eve, and i yelled for them to be quiet so santa could come. My dad came into my room and told me to shut the hell up, because santa wasn’t real. Then another time, i told my dad i hated him, and he replied back "i hate you too" and slammed my door. I’ve had to grow up hearing my parents have sex, which is so disturbing to hear your parents have sex. My dad raped my mom in front of me, he hit her in front of me, and yelled at both of us. My mom was young in the 90s, so on the weekends, she dropped me off at granny’s house so she could go party with her friends. I’m way closer to my granny because she basically raised me when i was young cause mom was never home. Both of my parents have been addicted to crack cocaine and alcohol (my mom has been clean for 6 years, but my dad still uses). My granny was physically abused by her husband (my grandpa) in the 70s, and when i was little in the 90s, they used to argue alot in front of me. I started liking girls when i was 5, and i had my first kiss with a girl when i was 5. I used to get beat up everyday in preschool by a girl who i would later discover was my cousin. I then transfered to an elementary school where the majority was whites, and in kindergarten, these twins wouldn’t invite me to their B-day party because i was "colored". I basically had no real friends until 1st grade when these 2 black twins came to my school. I started having a crush on one of them, but they left in 2nd grade. I didn’t have a real friend until 5th grade, when this family moved to my city. I met this girl, who would eventually become my best friend. We’re still best friends now as seniors. When i went to middle school, i fell in love with this hispanic girl, and everyone found out. I was teased and beat up for the rest of the year, and i was suicidal twice that year. Then 7th grade was boring, and in 8th grade i did track and basketball. I came to high school, and freshman year was fun. 10th grade was okay, and 11th grade was good too. Now i’m going to be a senior next fall, but i am starting to have severe mood swings, and i’m thinking/acting violently. As you probably figured, i’m a lesbian, and when you become a teen, hormones start going crazy. My best friend is starting to notice guys, and i’m getting very jealous. I yell at her, and grab her arm telling her she better not talk to no guys while i’m her friend. I have dreams about hitting her and telling her she’s mine, and she’ll never talk to anyone unless i say so. We used to be very close, but now everytime we hang out, it’s akward, and i end up yelling at her and calling her out of her name. Also, my family is trying to pressure me to get a boyfriend, but i don’t want one. And my mom really wants me to have kids, but i don’t want kids. I’m joining the military, which my family is also opposed too. I have dreams about hurting people, but i want them to stop.
So there’s my life in a nutshell. What do you think my problem is? Why am i having mood swings and acting violent towards people? Do you think i need therapy?
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Yeah babe I think you need therapy, just so you can talk to someone about your past and discover why you’re so angry, which personally I can see why, you’re angry at your parents for not being proper parents, for not protecting you (as in verbal abuse and not shielding you from observing such awful acts of abuse) for not being there when you most needed them (during trouble at school) and now after everything that they’ve put you through they now have the audacity to oppose your sexuality.
I myself am a lesbian and black and my parents hate the fact I’m gay ( I do have a daughter from a previous relationship though) and they want me to be ‘normal’ as they call it and get a boyfriend. I had a kind of relationship with my best friend at secondary school and when she got a boyfriend I hated her and him and was so jealous, you’re probably angry at her beacause she’s so special to you and you’ve had her to yourself for so long and now she’s into guys you’re going to have to share her when she has a boyfriend and so you’re jealous. You’re probably being violent towards her, partly because you’re used to seeing violence growing up and also because you don’t know how else to communicate properly to her. (Do you share your emotions with her?)
Tell her that you love her and that shes the bestest friend in the world and that you don’t want to lose her and that you’re scared you’ll become second best when she gets a fella adn stop being violent and possesive because she won’t always stand for it, one day she’ll have enough and won’t want to be around you.
As for your family take no notice, I don’t they used to really upset me and make me feel bad and kept saying they didn’t like my lifestyle, oh and also that lesbians were promiscuous!! (like straight people ain’t!) Now I don’t care if they’ve got a problem, its their problem not mine I’ve got a wonderful girlfriend and I’m happy. Your happiness is everything, you’ve been through so much it’s the least that you deserve.
Hope everything works out for you much love from Chantelle xxxx
No, I think you’re going through puberty. Everyone is wild at age 16, by 20 you will more likely get more mature.
I think your live sounds horrible.
I think that you are acting violent towards people because that is all you were exposed to as a child. You should really look in to therapy. I also suggest that you get a journal so you have somewhere to write down your feelings.
i am sorry to hear that you have a had rough life and no one should have to live like that.but maybe you like your friend more then just a friend and that’s why it upsets you.and that’s why you are having these dreams they will stop i to have dreams that i hate and they keep coming but they do stop.maybe with a Couleurs you will feel better and have some closure you have been through a lot it might help good luck hun
ii think u were abused. ur a lesbian bc uve seen only the bad side 2 men, and ur getting mad about ppl teasing u and u want ur best friend to want u.
u do need therapy, to just help u see
I would suggest possibly seeing someone. I think the reason why you are acting the way you are to your friend might be due to some underlying feelings you have towards her. Do you like her more then a friend? If so that could be why you are jealous that she is talking to boys. Since you are a lesbian and she isn’t that might be the reasoning right there. As far as your family there is nothing you can do about them. They have to want to make the changes in there lives to be better people. My father is an alcoholic as well and I have tried and tried to get him to change and my doctor tells me that he has to be the one who wants to make the change no matter how much I beg he has to do it. Until then he is going to continue to live his life the way he wants to. Unfortunately you didn’t pick your family. So try and make the best of the situation. I think the military is a good move. It will give you stability and structure in your life which seems to be lacking. But above most of all I would suggest seeing someone. I hope everything turns out. Best of luck!
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Ala-non Family Groups, Ala-Teen and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) can help you better than any other program in the world.
You grew up in addiction and violence. Where there is spousal abuse, domestic violence; when you witness your mother being beaten and hear her raped and are helpless and horrified, you become traumatized, and you have frozen fear, and you have locked in repressed memories.
If you do not get help, you will turn into your father, you already are. And you will treat your significant other just like your mother was treated. It’s a fact.
But you can stop the cycle of abuse and addiction and violence, and maybe use your great anger to help other women.
I don’t think people over the internet might have better advice then a trained councelor.
Thank-you for sharing your story, it seems it’s a wild one, and would be very interesting to read in a book.
Maybe you should write your own biography, get a journal and write all of the bad things that happened each day, let it all go.
I remember my mom being in the military, well I was not born, but she ran miles and miles every day.
I don’t think she ever hurt anybody, because it was in peacetime.
Follow your dreams, and life each day with a smile on your face, be nice to everybody if you can, because what goes around comes around. And keep reminding yourself it will all be okay.
I don’t think you have a problem, I think some people in your family has problems, that would be best if you all went to family counceling. I think you are having mood swings because of how your being raised, who your being raised with, and it would be best if you were to seek counceling with all of your family also. Councelors only want to help you, and they care so much, because they wouldn’t have picked their job if they didn’t like helping people. (:
I don’t think you need therapy, but more like counceling, somebody to talk to once in a while about your troubles, let it all go.
Councelers can give you tips and some of the best adivce you and I, and everybody online Yahoo Answers could never think of in such a way.
It will all be okay.
Stay strong